Have you heard about this Movember thing? I'm afraid I was totally late to this party. Movember takes place over the entire month of November where men are instructed not to shave their face and grow a moustache for a month. They get people to sponsor the growing of this moustache and the funds they raise go to prostate cancer. I can't quite connect moustaches to the prostrate (and don't want to give it a try), but it is apparently a very successful campaign.
I'd like to participate in this, I really would, but... moustaches are gross. I know it's all a big laugh riot but I don't need to be any more self-conscious about my appearance than I already am for an entire month. I've never tried to grow a moustache, but I feel like it would be less Ron Swanson and more John Waters. But I would like to be more charitable.
Dream: Designate another month in support of a charity.
Goal: Achievable. Movember only started in Canada four years ago and now it's widespread! I can think of five guys I know growing moustaches right now (and they all look... like they're sporting moustaches).
Plan: Come up with more cutesy-named but philanthropic month-long events. Such as:
Frocktober - Wear a dress every day in October in support of women's health.
Dissember - Diss someone every day in December in support of Tourette's syndrome YOU FUCKING WHOREBALL!
Gaypril - Develop a same-sex attraction every day in April in support of gay rights.
Puly - Document your regularity every day in July in support of Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Heptember - Enjoy a different sexual partner every day in September in support of Hepatitis's A through C.
Pube-ruary - Leave your body hair unkempt and overgrown this February in support of people who just don't care anymore.
AIDS March - Hold an AIDS march every day in March in support of AIDS.
Blogust - Visit Big City James every day in August in support of me.
All right, so maybe these proposed months don't have the same appeal as Movember, but they're all for very good causes. I'm sponsoring a friend this month who seems to really regret ever agreeing to not shave these past 17 days and counting, but he's raising a lot of cash with his 'stache, which seems reason enough to keep a stiff, albeit hairy, upper lip.